# Sign on a railway station at Patna:
Aana free, jaana free,
pakde gaye to khana free.
# Seen on a famous beauty parlor in Bombay:
Don't whistle at the girl going out from here.
She may be your grandmother!
# Seen on a bulletin board:
Success is relative
More the success, more the relatives.
# Sign at a barber's saloon in Juhu, Bombay :
We need your heads to run our business.
# A traffic slogan:
Don't let your kids drive if they are not old enough - or else they never will be.....
#THE BEST ONE:
Its God's responsibility to forgive the terrorist organizations
It's our responsibility to arrange the meeting between them and god."
- Indian Armed Forces
Friday 25 June 2010
Monday 21 June 2010
Tym to have a lovely curve on ur face.....
1.Teacher : Children whom do you hate the most?
UKG Boy : Raja Ram Mohan Roy
Teacher : Oh God ! why do you hate him?
UKG Boy : He abolished child marriage..
2. Six things boys do in exam hall
a. Counting No. of Girls
b. Sighting the lady invisilator
c. Counting windows and doors
d. Seeing the brand name of the pen
e. Feelings for wasting yesterdays night by studying.
f. Think to study well atleast for next exam
Six things girls do in exam hall ( Even though they dont know answers)
a. Write
b. Write
c. Write
d. Write
e. Write.
f. Write
Crazy girls ... They act more
3. Once Einsten was reading in class. A scorpion bit his toe but he continued reading with concentration. When sir asked him, he said that the scorpion bit him on toe not on mind, so he did not lose concentration. Friend this is what we call as
...............
..............
Over Action.....
4.Meeru podduna lechi muggurini lepandi. Aa muggurini maro muggurini lepamanandi. Elaga LAZY NESS ni INDIA nunchi toledam.
NOTE: Nannu matram lepoddu.
5. Boy friend : kal tumhare ghar gaya tha... mujhe nahi lagta hamari shadi hogi......
Girl friend : kyu ? papa se mila?
Boy friend : nahi tumhari behen se mila...... solid item hai ...
6. Balayya meets aishwarya in Filmfare awards
Balayya : sorry aishwarya naaku english theliyadu , Hindi theliyadu
Aish : sorry naku nuvvu evaro theliyadu ...
7. James Bond suicides after waching balakrishna film ... u know y?
Balaih had empty revolver, villan fired at balaiah,
Balaih catches da bullet puts it in his revolver and shoots the villan....
Then villan dies .....
crazy balayya
8. 1 day balayya was drinking water ...............................................
Ante ! balayya neellu kuda taagoddha ?? Deentlo kuda joke kavala?? this to 2mch
9. Frogs : sardars are fools
sardar : v r not fools
Frog : its waste to talk to you and frog jumps into water
sardar : isme suicide karne ki kya baat hai ? maine tho mazak kiya tha ....
UKG Boy : Raja Ram Mohan Roy
Teacher : Oh God ! why do you hate him?
UKG Boy : He abolished child marriage..
2. Six things boys do in exam hall
a. Counting No. of Girls
b. Sighting the lady invisilator
c. Counting windows and doors
d. Seeing the brand name of the pen
e. Feelings for wasting yesterdays night by studying.
f. Think to study well atleast for next exam
Six things girls do in exam hall ( Even though they dont know answers)
a. Write
b. Write
c. Write
d. Write
e. Write.
f. Write
Crazy girls ... They act more
3. Once Einsten was reading in class. A scorpion bit his toe but he continued reading with concentration. When sir asked him, he said that the scorpion bit him on toe not on mind, so he did not lose concentration. Friend this is what we call as
...............
..............
Over Action.....
4.Meeru podduna lechi muggurini lepandi. Aa muggurini maro muggurini lepamanandi. Elaga LAZY NESS ni INDIA nunchi toledam.
NOTE: Nannu matram lepoddu.
5. Boy friend : kal tumhare ghar gaya tha... mujhe nahi lagta hamari shadi hogi......
Girl friend : kyu ? papa se mila?
Boy friend : nahi tumhari behen se mila...... solid item hai ...
6. Balayya meets aishwarya in Filmfare awards
Balayya : sorry aishwarya naaku english theliyadu , Hindi theliyadu
Aish : sorry naku nuvvu evaro theliyadu ...
7. James Bond suicides after waching balakrishna film ... u know y?
Balaih had empty revolver, villan fired at balaiah,
Balaih catches da bullet puts it in his revolver and shoots the villan....
Then villan dies .....
crazy balayya
8. 1 day balayya was drinking water ..............................
Ante ! balayya neellu kuda taagoddha ?? Deentlo kuda joke kavala?? this to 2mch
9. Frogs : sardars are fools
sardar : v r not fools
Frog : its waste to talk to you and frog jumps into water
sardar : isme suicide karne ki kya baat hai ? maine tho mazak kiya tha ....
Dont miss......
An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem science has with God, The Almighty.
He asks one of his new students to stand and.....
Prof:
So you believe in God?
Student:
Absolutely, sir.
Prof
: Is God good?
Student:
Sure.
Prof:
Is God all-powerful?
Student
: Yes.
Prof:
My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him.
Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't. How is this God good then? Hmm?
(Student is silent.)
Prof:
You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?
Student:
Yes.
Prof:
Is Satan good?
Student
: No.
Prof:
Where does Satan come from?
Student:
From...God...
Prof:
That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student:
Yes.
Prof:
Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct?
Student:
Yes.
Prof:
So who created evil?
(Student does not answer.)
Prof:
Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?
Student:
Yes, sir.
Prof:
So, who created them?
(Student has no answer.)
Prof:
Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you.
Tell me, son...Have you ever
seen God?
Student:
No, sir.
Prof:
Tell us if you have ever heard your God?
Student:
No, sir.
Prof:
Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?
Student:
No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
Prof:
Yet you still believe in Him?
Student:
Yes.
Prof:
According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist.
What do you say to that, son?
Student:
Nothing. I only have my faith.
Prof:
Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.
Student:
Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Prof:
Yes.
Student:
And is there such a thing as cold?
Prof:
Yes.
Student:
No sir. There isn't.
(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)
Student
: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat.
But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go
any further after that.
There is no such thing as cold . Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of
heat
. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy . Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it .
(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)
Student:
What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Prof:
Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?
Student :
You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright
light, flashing light....But if
you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? In
reality, darkness isn't. If it were you would be able to make
darkness darker, wouldn't you?
Prof:
So what is the point you are making, young man?
Student:
Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Prof:
Flawed? Can you explain how?
Student:
Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it.
Now tell me, Professor.Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?
Prof:
If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.
Student:
Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going.)
Student:
Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher? (The class is in uproar.)
Student:
Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?
(The class breaks out into laughter.)
Student
: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain,sir.
With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable.)
Prof:
I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.
Student:
That is it sir... The link between man & god is FAITH . That is all that keeps things moving & alive.
NB: I believe you have enjoyed the conversation...and if so...you'll probably want your friends/colleagues to enjoy the same...won't you?....
this is a true story, and the
student was none other than.........
APJ Abdul Kalam , the former president of India.
wasn't that great?
He asks one of his new students to stand and.....
Prof:
So you believe in God?
Student:
Absolutely, sir.
Prof
: Is God good?
Student:
Sure.
Prof:
Is God all-powerful?
Student
: Yes.
Prof:
My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him.
Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't. How is this God good then? Hmm?
(Student is silent.)
Prof:
You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?
Student:
Yes.
Prof:
Is Satan good?
Student
: No.
Prof:
Where does Satan come from?
Student:
From...God...
Prof:
That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student:
Yes.
Prof:
Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct?
Student:
Yes.
Prof:
So who created evil?
(Student does not answer.)
Prof:
Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?
Student:
Yes, sir.
Prof:
So, who created them?
(Student has no answer.)
Prof:
Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you.
Tell me, son...Have you ever
seen God?
Student:
No, sir.
Prof:
Tell us if you have ever heard your God?
Student:
No, sir.
Prof:
Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?
Student:
No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
Prof:
Yet you still believe in Him?
Student:
Yes.
Prof:
According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist.
What do you say to that, son?
Student:
Nothing. I only have my faith.
Prof:
Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.
Student:
Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Prof:
Yes.
Student:
And is there such a thing as cold?
Prof:
Yes.
Student:
No sir. There isn't.
(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)
Student
: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat.
But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go
any further after that.
There is no such thing as cold . Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of
heat
. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy . Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it .
(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)
Student:
What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Prof:
Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?
Student :
You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright
light, flashing light....But if
you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? In
reality, darkness isn't. If it were you would be able to make
darkness darker, wouldn't you?
Prof:
So what is the point you are making, young man?
Student:
Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Prof:
Flawed? Can you explain how?
Student:
Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it.
Now tell me, Professor.Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?
Prof:
If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.
Student:
Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going.)
Student:
Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher? (The class is in uproar.)
Student:
Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?
(The class breaks out into laughter.)
Student
: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain,sir.
With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable.)
Prof:
I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.
Student:
That is it sir... The link between man & god is FAITH . That is all that keeps things moving & alive.
NB: I believe you have enjoyed the conversation...and if so...you'll probably want your friends/colleagues to enjoy the same...won't you?....
this is a true story, and the
student was none other than.........
APJ Abdul Kalam , the former president of India.
wasn't that great?
Saturday 19 June 2010
s/w Engineers thn n now.....So pity
Once up on a time:
@home town:
Cousins/relations/family frnds:
enti babu weekend ani intiki vachava...
s/w company lo Pani Chesthunav antaga....?? Baagane isthunattu vunaru ga....
inkenti settle ipoyavu kada... pelli sangathi enti...??
Entha lo vunnaru mi amma vaalu (katnam.)..?
S/w engineer e kada bagane vundidi le Ni rate....
@hydbad:
Auto driver:
Saab namaste sir....Randi sir kurchondi kurchondi...ekkadiki vellali...
ekkadiki Ina min 50 rs/- meekenti sir...monthly oka 25,000 vastai kada...
maku ichee 50 emi lekka le meeku...
House owner:
enti s/w company lo Pani Chesthunava..??
ithe rent 7,000/- every three months ki meeku hikes (increments) vastai anta kada..
so ade vidmaga ma intiki rent kuda 3 months ki okasari 750 increment anamaata....
ina ivi anni meeku oka lekka paada.... meeku 31st nite ki nite oka 30,000 vastai anta kada...
Shop owner:
sir s/w employee ayyi vundi inka 25 rs/kg rice vaaduthunaru enti sir.....
idigo s/w employees kosam 47 rs/kg rice sir....
asalu meeru atu itu thiriganavasaram ledu.....
Thinna ventane ade digest ipothundi sir...asalike s/w vaalu oka chair lo ne kurchuntaru anta kada etu thiraga kunda....
sir inka latest imported perfumes kuda vachai sir..okati theskoni velli try cheyyandi...taruvaatha meeku nachina flavours theskoni vellachu...
ina mi daggara money ekkadiki poyyidi sir....
Now.........
@home town:
cousins/relations/family frnds:
enti babu intiki vachavu....kompa theesi thesesara enti..??
aha ante emi ledu ee madya andarini thesesthunaru kada..andukani..
ina enduku ayya aa s/w job lu.. epudu thesestaro telidu,vunchutharo telidu...
inka mi job ke security lenappudu inka meeru pelli chesukoni emi vuddaristharu...
asalu meeku mundu ammai ni evaru istaru le...
@hydbad:
auto driver:
sir mari chi..chi veedini sir enti inka....idigo chudu thammudu ee auto velladu kani mundu ku poyyi bus stop lo nuncho..
nenu adiginantha iche situation lo nuvvu levu le kani..lite thesko......
House owner:
babu memu illu families ki iddam anukuntunamu.... so meeru tvaraga kaali cheyyandi...
ina batchelors ki intha pedda flat avasaram ledu anukunta....koncham chinna room lu vunte chuskoni...
urgent ga emi kadu le..oka 5 or 6 days lo vacate cheyyandi...
shop owner:
rey evaru akkada.... vachina vadiki enni kgs/rice(25 rs vi) kavalo chusi ichi pampandi..money isthene ivvandi....
appu ledu ani clear ga cheppandi...
idi neti s/w employee jeevitham...
@home town:
Cousins/relations/family frnds:
enti babu weekend ani intiki vachava...
s/w company lo Pani Chesthunav antaga....?? Baagane isthunattu vunaru ga....
inkenti settle ipoyavu kada... pelli sangathi enti...??
Entha lo vunnaru mi amma vaalu (katnam.)..?
S/w engineer e kada bagane vundidi le Ni rate....
@hydbad:
Auto driver:
Saab namaste sir....Randi sir kurchondi kurchondi...ekkadiki vellali...
ekkadiki Ina min 50 rs/- meekenti sir...monthly oka 25,000 vastai kada...
maku ichee 50 emi lekka le meeku...
House owner:
enti s/w company lo Pani Chesthunava..??
ithe rent 7,000/- every three months ki meeku hikes (increments) vastai anta kada..
so ade vidmaga ma intiki rent kuda 3 months ki okasari 750 increment anamaata....
ina ivi anni meeku oka lekka paada.... meeku 31st nite ki nite oka 30,000 vastai anta kada...
Shop owner:
sir s/w employee ayyi vundi inka 25 rs/kg rice vaaduthunaru enti sir.....
idigo s/w employees kosam 47 rs/kg rice sir....
asalu meeru atu itu thiriganavasaram ledu.....
Thinna ventane ade digest ipothundi sir...asalike s/w vaalu oka chair lo ne kurchuntaru anta kada etu thiraga kunda....
sir inka latest imported perfumes kuda vachai sir..okati theskoni velli try cheyyandi...taruvaatha meeku nachina flavours theskoni vellachu...
ina mi daggara money ekkadiki poyyidi sir....
Now.........
@home town:
cousins/relations/family frnds:
enti babu intiki vachavu....kompa theesi thesesara enti..??
aha ante emi ledu ee madya andarini thesesthunaru kada..andukani..
ina enduku ayya aa s/w job lu.. epudu thesestaro telidu,vunchutharo telidu...
inka mi job ke security lenappudu inka meeru pelli chesukoni emi vuddaristharu...
asalu meeku mundu ammai ni evaru istaru le...
@hydbad:
auto driver:
sir mari chi..chi veedini sir enti inka....idigo chudu thammudu ee auto velladu kani mundu ku poyyi bus stop lo nuncho..
nenu adiginantha iche situation lo nuvvu levu le kani..lite thesko......
House owner:
babu memu illu families ki iddam anukuntunamu.... so meeru tvaraga kaali cheyyandi...
ina batchelors ki intha pedda flat avasaram ledu anukunta....koncham chinna room lu vunte chuskoni...
urgent ga emi kadu le..oka 5 or 6 days lo vacate cheyyandi...
shop owner:
rey evaru akkada.... vachina vadiki enni kgs/rice(25 rs vi) kavalo chusi ichi pampandi..money isthene ivvandi....
appu ledu ani clear ga cheppandi...
idi neti s/w employee jeevitham...
Bala krishna as a s/w professional...... :P
If ‘Yuvaratna’ Nandamuri Balakrishna was ever to be a software engineer, then his dialoges will be:
1) Etthi kottanante Google search lo kooda kanapadakunda potav…
2) Orey Java Reddy, Nenu VB chesa, VC chesa, C kuda chesa nee yabba neenu Java kuda chesa… Nuvvu.. Software vamsam lo ne puttunte.. neeke ganaka.. oka company vunte.. laptop, desktop rendu vunte… raa ra.. dammunte naaku interview cheyyara… raa ra
3) Gattiga Keyboard button nokkanate.. aa sound ke job istav.. alantidi nenu personal gaa vatchi interview ivvatam entra…
4) Debugging naaku maa amma uggu paalatho pattindi ra.
5) Program nuvvu ichina sare, nannu raayamanna sare, Logic nuvvu cheppina sare nannu alochinchamanna sare, eppudayina ekkadaina ee cyber center lo nina sare … choosukundam
If ‘Yuvaratna’ Nandamuri Balakrishna was ever to be a software engineer, then his dialoges will be:
1) Etthi kottanante Google search lo kooda kanapadakunda potav…
2) Orey Java Reddy, Nenu VB chesa, VC chesa, C kuda chesa nee yabba neenu Java kuda chesa… Nuvvu.. Software vamsam lo ne puttunte.. neeke ganaka.. oka company vunte.. laptop, desktop rendu vunte… raa ra.. dammunte naaku interview cheyyara… raa ra
3) Gattiga Keyboard button nokkanate.. aa sound ke job istav.. alantidi nenu personal gaa vatchi interview ivvatam entra…
4) Debugging naaku maa amma uggu paalatho pattindi ra.
5) Program nuvvu ichina sare, nannu raayamanna sare, Logic nuvvu cheppina sare nannu alochinchamanna sare, eppudayina ekkadaina ee cyber center lo nina sare … choosukundam
1) Etthi kottanante Google search lo kooda kanapadakunda potav…
2) Orey Java Reddy, Nenu VB chesa, VC chesa, C kuda chesa nee yabba neenu Java kuda chesa… Nuvvu.. Software vamsam lo ne puttunte.. neeke ganaka.. oka company vunte.. laptop, desktop rendu vunte… raa ra.. dammunte naaku interview cheyyara… raa ra
3) Gattiga Keyboard button nokkanate.. aa sound ke job istav.. alantidi nenu personal gaa vatchi interview ivvatam entra…
4) Debugging naaku maa amma uggu paalatho pattindi ra.
5) Program nuvvu ichina sare, nannu raayamanna sare, Logic nuvvu cheppina sare nannu alochinchamanna sare, eppudayina ekkadaina ee cyber center lo nina sare … choosukundam
If ‘Yuvaratna’ Nandamuri Balakrishna was ever to be a software engineer, then his dialoges will be:
1) Etthi kottanante Google search lo kooda kanapadakunda potav…
2) Orey Java Reddy, Nenu VB chesa, VC chesa, C kuda chesa nee yabba neenu Java kuda chesa… Nuvvu.. Software vamsam lo ne puttunte.. neeke ganaka.. oka company vunte.. laptop, desktop rendu vunte… raa ra.. dammunte naaku interview cheyyara… raa ra
3) Gattiga Keyboard button nokkanate.. aa sound ke job istav.. alantidi nenu personal gaa vatchi interview ivvatam entra…
4) Debugging naaku maa amma uggu paalatho pattindi ra.
5) Program nuvvu ichina sare, nannu raayamanna sare, Logic nuvvu cheppina sare nannu alochinchamanna sare, eppudayina ekkadaina ee cyber center lo nina sare … choosukundam
Communication........
Arab person sends an e-mail to his Dad saying:
Dear Dad,
Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad,
I am bit ashamed to arrive to my college with my Gold Mercedes, when all my Teachers travel by train.
Your Son
Nasser
Sometime later Nasser gets reply to his e-mail from his Dad:
Loving son,
Twenty Million Dollars transferred to your account, please stop embarrassing us, go and get yourself a train too.
Your Dad
Dear Dad,
Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad,
I am bit ashamed to arrive to my college with my Gold Mercedes, when all my Teachers travel by train.
Your Son
Nasser
Sometime later Nasser gets reply to his e-mail from his Dad:
Loving son,
Twenty Million Dollars transferred to your account, please stop embarrassing us, go and get yourself a train too.
Your Dad
Y call center Guys r paid sooooooooo mch......??
1 ) Tech Support : "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer : "Ok."
Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until
this point?"
Customer : "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
------------ --------- --------- --------- -
2) Customer : "I received the software update you sent, but I am still
getting the same error message."
Tech Support : "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
3)Customer : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support : "Tell me what you've done."
Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."
Tech Support : "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support : "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer : "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
4).Customer : "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
5). Tech Support : "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen,
can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer : "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
Tech support : ??????
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
6) Tech Support : "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer : "A white one."
Tech support : ?????
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
7). Tech Support : "What operating system are you running?"
Customer : "Pentium."
Tech support : ??????
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
8).Cus tomer : "I have Microsoft Exploder."
Tech Support : ??????
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
9). Customer : "How do I print my voicemail?"
Tech support : ??????
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
10). Customer : "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to
print document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support : "What does it say?"
Customer : "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support : "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer : "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
Tech support : ?????
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
11). Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open
24 hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
12). Tech Support : "What does the screen say now?"
Customer : "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support : "Well?"
Customer : "How do I know when it's ready?"
Tech support : ??????
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
The best of the lot
13). A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that
his computer is faulty.
Tech: What's the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech: (keep quite)
Tech: You'll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup
and it will fix the
problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.
Tech support::
10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech
is frustrated and fed up.
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there
is an undocumented DOS
command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech : Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM <http://nosmoke . com/>http://nosmoke. com/> http://nosmoke. com/ > at
the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.
10 minutes later.
User : It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech : Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User : MS-DOS 6.22 .
Tech : That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with
NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you
the file. Let me know how it goes.
1 hour later.
User : I need a new power supply.
Tech support : How did you come to that conclusion?
User : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he
started asking questions about the make of power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Hight Of all (Too Good)
14) customer care officer: I need a product identification number
right now and may I help u in
finding it out?
Customer: sure
CCO: could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?
Cust: I did left click but how do I find your computer?
Customer : "Ok."
Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until
this point?"
Customer : "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
------------ --------- --------- --------- -
2) Customer : "I received the software update you sent, but I am still
getting the same error message."
Tech Support : "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
3)Customer : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support : "Tell me what you've done."
Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."
Tech Support : "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support : "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer : "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
4).Customer : "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
5). Tech Support : "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen,
can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer : "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
Tech support : ??????
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
6) Tech Support : "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer : "A white one."
Tech support : ?????
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
7). Tech Support : "What operating system are you running?"
Customer : "Pentium."
Tech support : ??????
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
8).Cus tomer : "I have Microsoft Exploder."
Tech Support : ??????
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
9). Customer : "How do I print my voicemail?"
Tech support : ??????
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
10). Customer : "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to
print document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support : "What does it say?"
Customer : "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support : "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer : "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
Tech support : ?????
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
11). Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open
24 hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
12). Tech Support : "What does the screen say now?"
Customer : "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support : "Well?"
Customer : "How do I know when it's ready?"
Tech support : ??????
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
The best of the lot
13). A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that
his computer is faulty.
Tech: What's the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech: (keep quite)
Tech: You'll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup
and it will fix the
problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.
Tech support::
10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech
is frustrated and fed up.
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there
is an undocumented DOS
command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech : Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM <http://
the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.
10 minutes later.
User : It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech : Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User : MS-DOS 6.22 .
Tech : That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with
NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you
the file. Let me know how it goes.
1 hour later.
User : I need a new power supply.
Tech support : How did you come to that conclusion?
User : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he
started asking questions about the make of power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Hight Of all (Too Good)
14) customer care officer: I need a product identification number
right now and may I help u in
finding it out?
Customer: sure
CCO: could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?
Cust: I did left click but how do I find your computer?
Heart attack and Hot Water
A very good article which takes two minutes to read…. I'm sending this to persons I care about....... I hope you do too!!!
Heart Attacks And Drinking Warm Water This is a very good article. Not only about the warm water after your meal, but about
For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you. It is nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal. However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion. Once this 'sludge' reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine. Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer. It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.
Common Symptoms of Heart Attack...
A serious note about heart attacks - You should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the left arm hurting. Be aware of intense pain in the jaw line.
You may never have the first chest pain during the course of a heart attack. Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms. 60% of people who have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up. Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Let's be careful and be aware. The more we know the better chance we could survive.
Hard working Politicians.......
“Karuna nidhii" Fasting
First time in the world history fasting only 4 hours and that too with an AC …….
This is the comedy of the year 2009…. Fasting starts after breakfast and ending before lunch. Interesting one!!
Remedy 4 Heart Vein opening
|
Fastest tng........ha ha ha
university were to be interviewed for a prestigious job. One common
question was asked to all 4 of them.
INTERVIEWER: WHICH IS THE FASTEST THING IN THE WORLD?
YALE guy: Its light, Nothing can travel faster than light
HARVARD Guy: It's the Thought; because thought is so fast it comes instantly in
your mind.
MIT guy: Its Blink, you can blink and its hard to realize you blinked
SANTA SINGH: Its Loose motion
INTERVIEWER: (Shocked to hear Santa's reply, asked) "WHY"?
SANTA SINGH: Last night after dinner, I was lying in my bed and I got the
worst stomach cramps, and before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON
THE LIGHTS, it was over!!!!
question was asked to all 4 of them.
INTERVIEWER: WHICH IS THE FASTEST THING IN THE WORLD?
YALE guy: Its light, Nothing can travel faster than light
HARVARD Guy: It's the Thought; because thought is so fast it comes instantly in
your mind.
MIT guy: Its Blink, you can blink and its hard to realize you blinked
SANTA SINGH: Its Loose motion
INTERVIEWER: (Shocked to hear Santa's reply, asked) "WHY"?
SANTA SINGH: Last night after dinner, I was lying in my bed and I got the
worst stomach cramps, and before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON
THE LIGHTS, it was over!!!!
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